SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE
foundation than those of many others: and in this I found my unworthiness and my sins greater than those of other men. For it is not sufficient to declare one's own unworthiness, since the heart may be far removed from such a declaration, and it may be a mere matter of the imagination: but actually to see that such is the case is due to the grace of the Spirit.
"Now while I was in the spirit I thought and strove by thought to attain a knowledge of how to avoid all that was impure. I noticed, however, that this intruded itself from the ground of the love of self on all occasions when anything was reflected upon; as, for instance, when any one did not regard me according to my own estimation of myself, I thought, 'O if you only knew what grace I have, you would act differently.' This then was not only impure, but originated in the love of self. At last I found this out and entreated God's forgiveness; and I then wished that others also might have the same grace, as they perhaps either have had or will have. From this I observed clearly that there was still in me that same pernicious apple which has not yet been converted, and which is Adam's root and his hereditary sin. Yes, and an
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