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Still the idea of self-murder never returned to my mind. Death did not seem to want me.
"In the meanwhile, my story, in veiled words, had appeared in every newspaper. It was too dainty a bit of gossip not to spread about at once like wild fire.
"Even the letter Teleny had written to me before his suicide—stating that his debts, which had been paid by my mother, had been the cause of his infidelity—had got to be public property.
"Then, Heaven having revealed my iniquity, the earth rose against me; for if Society does not ask you to be intrinsically good, it asks you to make a goodly show of morality, and, above all, to avoid scandals. Therefore a famous clergyman—a saintly man—preached at that time an edifying sermon, which began with the following text:—
"'His remembrance shall perish from the the earth, and he shall have no name in the street.'
"And he ended it, saying,—
"'He shall be driven from light into darkness, and chased out of the world.'
