III.
Act of Humility and Self-knowledge.
He that humbleth himself shall be exalted.[1]
HUMILITY is the virtue which represses the desire of excessive exaltation of self above others.
1. How shall I, my God, when I see thee humbling thyself for love of me, to endure a most shameful death, —how, I say, shall a most vile worm of earth, like me, dare exalt myself, and not rather hide myself beneath the ground! when I know myself, too, to be so proud and ungrateful, that I believe no creature could be found that, if it had received from thee as great grace and as many blessings as I have, would not have served thee with far greater zeal and fervour than I. Nay, because I do not enough acknowledge this truth, as it really is, from my heart, I confess that 1 am most proud ; and, in reality, viler than all others: and so, for my vanity and foolish pride, am justly hateful and execrable to thee, my God.
2, Ah me! so blinded am I by my pride, that I know not myself, and see not, O Lord, that the more the gifts I receive from thee, the heavier is my ingratitude, and the greater my sins, and the stricter the account I must render to thee. I am really, therefore, a viler sinner than all others; and I believe that none ever seceded so far from thee as I have done by my offences. Nay, I believe that there are none, not even. the greatest of sinners, but would, if they had the assistance that I have, return to thee more quickly, and perhaps love and honour thee ever after with more heartfelt sincerity and affection; but any how would grieve more for their sins, and serve thee more faithfully than I do.
3. I am amazed, O Lord, how thou canst endure the sight of a creature so ungrateful to thee as I am. And therefore I think myself wholly unworthy to serve thee, and my prayers to be heard by thee; most unworthy, because so heedless of thy light, of all grace and heavenly inspirations; and therefore have I long since deserved to be cast out by thee, and left in my darkness and error. I am unworthy, too, because I am so disobedient and refractory, to live among thy faithful ones, and in the house of thy servants; from whom, did they but treat me as I deserve, I should
- ↑ Luke xiv, 11.
