Truth? Ah, how wretched am I, to be brought into such danger by the fleeting goods that for a brief moment are lent to me, as possibly to be separated by them from thee, my greatest good, and plunged into perdition and the worst of misfortunes!
What shall I do to thee, O keeper of men? Why hast thou placed me in so slippery a state and position? What shall I do, that by temporal goods I may not lose the eternal? Thou commandest me not to set my heart upon riches ; if they abound, not to be high-minded ; to honour thee with my substance,[1] or rather with thine; for I brought nothing into this world, and certainly can carry nothing out. I am thy steward; but when thou comest, alas! to reckon with thy servant, how can it be that I shall be found faithful?
Difficulties surround me on every side. But behold, I know what I will do. Rather than perish eternally, I will cast all away for thy sake, and thou wilt repay it me with what is far better. Straight is the way, and narrow is the gate ; but, rather than be shut out from thee, most gladly will I lay down, or rather lay up with thee my all. For I know that thou, who keepest thyself or me, art able to keep that which I deposit with thee, O my God and my all!
Thou hast said, O eternal Truth, not to religious and monks only, but to every Christian, Unless a man (in affection at least) renounce all that he possesses, he cannot be my disciple.
Therefore I renounce all, and, by the bowels of thy mercy, I most humbly beseech thee, enable me to be thy disciple, O Lord, our salvation and our life! Thou delightest not in the death and perdition of any one; take, therefore, away from me the concupiscence of the eyes, and accept this my desire, by which I renounce in my soul’s affection, and am ready to renounce in effect all things rather than offend thee; and to be poor with Lazarus, rather than be rich with the glutton.
Therefore, I cheerfully offer thee my heart and my all; that is, thy own. Dispose of them as thou pleasest; for if they are thine, as indeed they are, I am unjust if I usurp thy right. So be it, then, whether I am deprived of them by the violence of men, the ruin of wars, the malice of Satan, injury from weather, or any other accident, I will look to thee alone, and will say patiently and humbly with Job, The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.
- ↑ Prov. iii. 9.
