Page:The Atlantic Monthly Volume 1.djvu/119

And full they were of pious plums,
So extra-super-moral,—
For sucking Virtue’s tender gums
Most tooth-enticing coral.

A clean, fair copy she prepares,
Makes sure of moods and tenses,
With her own hand,—for prudence spares
A man- (or woman) -uensis;
Complete, and tied with ribbons proud,
She hinted soon how cosy a
Treat it would be to read them aloud
After next day's Ambrosia.

The Gods thought not it would amuse
So much as Homer's Odyssees,
But could not very well refuse
The properest of Goddesses;
So all sat round in attitudes
Of various dejection,
As with a hem! the queen of prudes
Began her grave prelection.

At the first pause Zeus said, "Well sung!—
I mean—ask Phœbus,—he knows."
Says Phœbus, "Zounds! a wolf's among
Admetus's merinos!
Fine! very fine! but I must go;
They stand in need of me there;
Excuse me!" snatched his stick, and so
Plunged down the gladdened ether.

With the next gap, Mars said, "For me
Don't wait,—naught could be finer;
But I'm engaged at half-past three,—
A fight in Asia Minor!"
Then Venus lisped, "How very thad!
It rainth down there in torinth;
But I mutht go, becauthe they've had
A thacrifithe in Corinth!"

Then Bacchus,—"With those slamming doors
I lost the last half dist—(hic!)
Mos' bu'ful se'ments! what's the Chor's?
My voice shall not be missed—(hic!)"
His words woke Hermes; "Ah!” he said,
"I so love moral theses!"
Then winked at Hebe, who turned red,
And smoothed her apron's creases.

Just then Zeus snored,—the Eagle drew
His head the wing from under;