Hooly and Fairly.
[Written by Joanna Baillie for George Thomson's collection of Scottish Melodies.]
Oh, neighbours! what had I ado for to marry,
My wife she drinks possets and wine o' Canary,
And ca's me a niggardly, thraw-gabbit early,
O gin my wife wad drink hooly and fairly!
Hooly and fairly, &c.
She feasts wi' her kimmers on dainties enew,
Aye bowing and smirking and dighting her mou',
While I sit aside and am helpet but sparely,
O gin my wife wad feast hooly and fairly!
Hooly and fairly, &c.
To fairs and to bridals and preachings and a',
She gangs sae light-hearted and busket sae braw,
It's ribbons and mantuas that gars me gae barely,
O gin my wife would spend hooly and fairly!
Hooly and fairly, &c.
In the kirk sic commotion last sabbath she made,
Wi' babs o' red roses and briest-knots o'erlaid,
The dominie sticket his psalm very nearly,
O gin my wife wad dress hooly and fairly!
Hooly and fairly, &c.
She's warring and flyting frae morning till e'en,
And if ye gainsay her, her eye glowrs sae keen!
Then tongue, neive and cudgel, she'll lay on you sairly!
O gin my wife wad strike hooly and fairly!
Hooly and fairly, &c.
When tired wi' her cantraps, she lies in her bed,
The wark a' neglecket, the house ill up-red,
When a' our guid neighbours are stirring right early,
O gin my wife wad sleep timely and fairly!
Hooly and fairly, &c.
A word o' good counsel or grace she'll hear none,
She bardies the elders and mocks at mess John,
And back in his teeth his ain text she flings rarely!
O gin my wife wad speak hooly and fairly!
Hooly and fairly, &c.
I wish I were single, I wish I were freed,
I wish I were doited, I wish I were dead;
Or she in the mools, to dement me nae mair, lay;
What does't avail to cry hooly and fairly?
Hooly and fairly, hooly and fairly,
Wasting my breath to cry hooly and fairly!
We're a' noddin'.
I.
[There are various readings of this old doggrel. Part of it can be traced in Bishop Percy's MS. as far back as 1560. We give here, first, the version which Burns furbished up for Johnson's Museum. Miss Stephens, we believe, has the praise or blame of introducing the tune, and a modified version of the words, into fashionable society more than twenty years ago.]
Gude'en to you, kimmer,
And how do ye do?
Hiccup, quo' kimmer,
The better that I'm fou.
We're a' noddin',
Nid, nid, noddin',
We're a' noddin',
At our house at hame.
Kate sits i' the neuk,
Suppin' hen broo;
Deil tak' Kate,
An' she be na noddin' too!
We're a' noddin', &c.
How's a' wi' you, kimmer,
And how do ye fare?
A pint o' the best o't,
And twa pints mair.
We're a' noddin', &c.
How's a' wi' you, kimmer,
And how do ye thrive?
How mony bairns ha'e ye?
Quo' kimmer, I ha'e five.
We're a' noddin', &c.
Are they a' Johnny's
Eh! atweel na:
Twa o' them were gotten
When Johnny was awa'.
We're a' noddin', &c.
