THE SECOND BOOK OF THE COURTIER sharp and clever this was, because in Spain (as in many other countries too) the custom is that when a man is led to the gal- lows, his life is given him if a public courtesan begs him for her husband. "In this manner also the painter Raphael replied to two car- dinals with whom he was on familiar terms, and who (to make him talk) were finding fault in his presence with a picture that he had painted, — in which St. Peter and St. Paul were repre- sented, — saying that these two figures were too red in the face. Then Raphael at once said: 'My Lords, be not concerned; because I painted them so with full intention, since we have reason to believe that St. Peter and St. Paul are as red in Heaven as you see them here, for shame that their Church should be governed by such men as you.'™' 77 — " Very keen also are those witticisms that have a certain latent spice of fun in them. As where a husband was making great lament and weeping for his wife, who had hanged herself on a fig-tree, another man approached him and plucking him by the robe, said : ' Brother, might I as a great favour have a small branch of that fig-tree to graft upon some tree in my garden?' " Some other witticisms need an air of patience and are slowly uttered with a certain gravity. As where a rustic, who was carrying a box on his shoulders, jostled it against Cato, and then said: 'Have a care.' Cato replied: 'Hast thou aught else but that chest upon thy shoulders?""' " Moreover we laugh when a man has made a blunder, and to mend it says something of set purpose that seems silly and yet tends to the object he has in view, and thus keeps himself in countenance. For instance, in the Florentine Council not long ago there were (as often happens in these republics) two ene- mies, and one of them, who was of the Altoviti family, fell asleep. And although his adversary, who was of the Alamanni family, was not speaking and had not spoken, yet to raise a laugh the man who sat next Altoviti woke him with a touch of the elbow, and said: 'Do you not hear what So and So says? Make answer, as the Signors are asking for your opinion.' Thereupon Altoviti rose to his feet all drowsy as he was, and said without stopping to think: ' My Lords, I say just the oppo- 149
