and for that reason the just God deprived me of speech and life together; thus I am lost forever and your prayers cannot help me. And, asked the Father, what is the greatest torment you have now to suffer? My greatest torment, she replied, consists in this: that I remember how easily 1 might have attained eternal happiness if I had only wished, and had told the sin that was troubling me. She then disappeared, howling. See, O sinner! you who now are not willing, the same thought will be your greatest torment in hell also.
Resolution to have a better will. O God of goodness! grant that none of us here may have such a corrupt and perverse will. I do wish to be eternally happy; my temporal welfare I readily leave to Thy holy will and decree; but I do desire to be happy with Thee in heaven; I positively do not wish to go to hell (ah, God forbid that such should be my fate!). I have indeed lost heaven a thousand times by my sins (Thou knowest, O Lord! how true this is, unfortunately!); a thousand times I have deserved hell; but, O Lord! Thou knowest too that I repent sincerely of my sins and ardently implore Thy mercy and pardon. Therefore I hope that according to Thy promise Thou wilt bring me to Thyself in heaven; and hence while I have the power I will use the means of salvation provided for me. I will keep Thy commandments exactly, avoid sin with Thy help and grace as the greatest of all evils, and fulfil Thy holy will in all things. Away with all joys, goods, honors, and vanities; away with all creatures that might hinder me from keeping this resolution and lead me again into sin! I bid adieu to them now and forever. I will not consider how others and the majority of men live; but how I am bound to live according to Thy holy law. If this will of mine should again begin to vacillate through weakness and inconstancy, then I beg of Thee, Almighty and merciful God, in the prayer of Thy Church, to turn violently my rebellious will to Thee, that I may not be banished to that place of torments, where, although I should have the will, the power would be wanting to me; and that I may, to my eternal iiappiness, go to that place where Thy will and mine shall be one will, that is, heaven. Amen.
Another introduction for the third Sunday of Advent.
Text.
Tu quis es?—John i. 19.
“Who art thou?”
