11
Commissioner Rede was fetched to settle the dispute. An absurd and unjust regulation was then the law; no party was allowed to have an interest in two claims at one and the same time, which was called "owning two claims." The Yankees carried the day. I, a living witness, do assert that, from that day, there was a "down" on the name of Rede.
For the commissioners, this jumping business was by no means an agreeable job. They were fetched to the spot: a mob would soon collect round the disputed claim; and for "fair play," it required the wisdom of Solomon, because the parties concerned set the same price on their dispute, as the two harlots on the living child.
I. The conflicting evidence, in consequence of hard swearing, prompted by gold-thirst, the most horrible demon that depraves the human heart, even a naturally honest heart.—II. The incomprehensible, unsettled, impracticable ordinances for the abominable management of the gold-fields; which ordinances, left to the discretion—that is, the caprice; and to the good sense—that is, the motto, "odi profanum vulgus et arceo;" and to the best judgment—that is, the proverbial incapability of all aristocratical red-tape, how to rule us vagabonds. Both those reasons, I say, must make even the most hardened bibber of Toorak small-beer acknowledge and confess, that the perfidious mistake at head-quarters was, their persisting to make the following Belgravian billet-doux the "sine qua non" recommendation for gold-lace on Ballaarat (at the time):—
(ADDRESS)
"To the Victorian Board of Small Beer,
- "Toorak (somewhere in Australasia, i.e., Australia Felix—inquire from the natives, reported to be of black-skin, at the southern end of the globe.)
- "Belgravia,
- "First year of the royal projecting the
- "Great Exhibition, Hyde Park.
"Lady Starvesempstress, great-grand-niece of His Grace the Duke of Curry-Powder, begs to introduce to Fortyshilling Takehimaway, Esquire, of Toorak, see address, her brother-in-law, Pollipuss, Waterloobolter, tenth son of the venerable Prebendary of North and South Palaver, Canon of St. Sebastopol in the east, and Rector of Allblessedfools, West End—Urgent."
In justice, however, to Master Waterloobolter, candidate for gold-lace, it must not be omitted that he is a Piccadilly young sprat, and so at Julien's giant bal-masque, was ever gracious to the lady of his love.
