I was the only blick sheep among them, and a real black sheep I was. Naturally of an amiable disposition, I was, nevertheless, morbidly sensitive, and once piqued, I was not apt to get over it, unless, perhaps, my opponent made the first advances; and that Lieutenant Davis would gratify me in this particular was scarcely to be expected. I never considered that he had been very lenient in my case, that I had deserved a much more severe punishment; I only remembered that he had told me to hold my tongue, and had struck me. The provocation on my part sank into nothingness beside the glaring insult of the blow, and the difference of rank at that stage of my military career never entered my head. And so I became the only utterly worthless member of the company. If I could shirk duty at any time, I did it; if I could get on the sick-list, I kept my quarters, much as I liked fresh air and exercise, rather than drill or do duty under that boy, as I called him. I didn't mind guard duty, in fact was glad to be put on when Lieutenant Davis was not officer of the guard or of the day; but I would resort to almost any measures to escape obeying his commands. On several occasions I even went so far as to make myself in reality desperately sick, by a trick an old sailor-friend had taught me, of swallowing a quid of tobacco; which feat would be followed by terrible nausea and retching for many hours, then a collapse so like that in cholera that it would deceive almost any physician, and a complete prostration of my nervous system for nearly a week. Violent as was this remedy, I was willing to take it rather than endure the disease, for such to me was any kind of duty under my Lieutenant. But all my subterfuges only resulted in avoiding for me a portion of my duty, and procuring me the name of the most worthless, incorrigible dead-beat.
So matters went on for many months, during which we had been ordered to Washington, and stationed at Fort Lyon, Va. Thoughts of desertion had not unfrequently crossed my mind, but fear of the name of coward, invariably coupled with that of deserter, deterred me from so shameful an act. But nothing kept me from my equally dishonorable course of contumacy and defiance of my my superior. No advice, no urgings on the part of my comrades and sergeants had any effect upon me; set in my way, I was bound to fight it out on that line to the bitter end. And for my own good it was, that finally the bitter end came.
It was thus. I had been put in the guard-house the previous day (no rare thing with me at that time), and in the morning had been sent out with some other prisoners to work under guard. I had done this often before. In fact I did more work under such circumstances than in my regular line of duty. But the lurking devil within me was chafing for a casus belli, and the work being such as to offend my biased sense of right, seemed to offer the desired opportunity. It was cleaning the regimental sinks. This is, thought I, more than I can stand. All my senses revolted at it; and while the rest of the prisoners set to work with spade and pick, I threw down my implement with an oath, determined not to move a hand in such menial, and as I thought, degrading labor.
As it happened. Lieutenant Davis was again officer of the day, and shortly after came on his rounds to inspect the progress we were making.
"Lieutenant, Private Ogden, G Company, won't do his work," reported the corporal in charge of the party.
"Ogden again! Why, what's the matter now, Ogden?" said he, turning on me a look of half annoyance, half severity.
I spoke no word, but curled my lip and folded my arms in mute defiance.
