GOSPEL OF RAMAKRISHNA
praises of my Divine Mother. I had a long conversation with him. He became truly de-voted to me and said: "I have never found so much happiness anywhere." He revered me although I used to cry for my Divine Mother like a child.
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Nothing but discourses on God appealed to me at this period. If I heard worldly conver- Distaste for worldly con-versation. sation, I would sit in a corner and weep bitterly. When I went with Mathura Babu to Benares, I was sitting with him in the drawing-room when some friends came in to see him and began to discuss worldly affairs. "So much we have gained, so much we have lost." Hearing this I was in tears and cried aloud: "Mother, why hast Thou brought me here? I was much better off in the Temple. I have come to the Holy City to hear only of lust and gold; but there in the Temple I did not have to listen to such con- versation."
I was at this time like a young boy and so Mathura Babu fulfilled all the desires that arose in my mind. My heart and soul, however, were constantly longing to hear about the
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