110 CONGRESSIONAL PAPERS. NO. Ill— THE "THIRD HOUSE."
��hauled until I don't know where I am.
- * * * This is my last year in Congress.
I am goin' to get shet out of it at once. I can't stand it. Young man, when this yer Congress is busted and I ken in hon- or tell ye all I know, I will give ye still more than enough to fill a book of the blamedest stuff ye ever dreamed about. I'm goin' to have my experiences pub- lished if I have to write 'em out myself. Lobby, did ye say, backin' of 'em sew- ing-machines? I should say so ! Lobby? If ye were a member ye'd find that out. When I came here I learned a few things. Does a member love good feedin' ? Then it rains invitations to the biggest kind of feeds. Does he love drinkin'? Whiskey runs in rivers for him upon every hand. Is it women he wants to persuade him? Then women it is of every kind, big, lit- tle, old, young, and nary one of 'em with any morals to bother 'em. Last, if all these fail to fetch him, money can be had in bales rather than to loose him. I am a pore man, but I want to stay an honest one. I have stood it out two years in this yer place, and I ain't goin' to resk myself here any longer."
At the close of his term Mr. Crutchfield renounced the pomps of Congressional life, returned to the purer atmosphere of his mountain home, where it is reasona- ble to suppose he is engaged in prepar- ing his great work " showing up " the " lobby " at Washington. His vivid de- scription is that of a steady-going old farmer, ignorant of the world, suddenly brought into contact with the most dis- reputable phase of Congressional legis- lation. Unlike many others, Mr. Crutch- field evidently does not believe the " lob- by " to be a mere creature of imagina- tion. To him it was a stern reality, or to use his more expressive language, " the spook that was always arter him," and which finally induced him to leave Con- gress rather than to risk the chance of having his integrity questioned. Other members have had similar experiences, and have withstood all the blandish- ments the " lobby " could offer; while still others, possessed of less Spartan in- tegrity and firmness, stand all over the land, thrifty monuments of the mysteri-
��ous power that sits enthroned at the Cap- ital.
The " lobby " is no myth : neither is it so offensively conspicuous as many im- agine. Whoever expects to see some- body rashing around whispering in Con- gressmen's ears " I'll give you ten thou- sand dollars to vote for the Pacific Rail- road bill," and " five thousand dollars to vote for the Brazilian 'subsidy' bill," will be disappointed. Nothing of the kind occurs. In fact, the experienced lobbyist is careful that his scheme of op- erations shall "take any shape but that." A person might haunt the corridors of the Capitol for years without ever hear- ing a proposition of this kind openly made. There are better methods of ex- erting "influence" — as witness the rela- tions of the Credit Mobilier and other gi- gantic schemes. An invitation to "take stock" in what promises to be a "safe in- vestment," a suggestion that a certain project will prove to be "a good thing," or a mild hint that a European tour is needed to perfect a congressman's health, are among the thousand and oue little insinuations thrown out by the pro- fessional lobbyist. The details may be left to such times and circumstances as are mutually satisfactory to the contract- ing parties. That the great majority of Representatives and Senators are cor- rupt, is not, for a moment, to be believed ; but that some of them have shamelessly betrayed their trusts, and enriched them- selves at the public expense, is too plainly evident to admit of denial. The "lobby" has an existence, and is a fixed fact as much as the existence of Congress it- self. Its influence is far-reaching, pow- erful, and sometimes potential. It takes advantage of everything, and scruples at nothing. It leaves no methods un- tried, however base, to accomplish its purpose. It embraces in its membership the least reputable of both sexes. It has talent, wealth, and beauty at its com- mand. It can and does to all out ward ap- pearances, make and unmake those who should have avoided its fatal clutches. Apparently, it has no tangible existence. You cannot find its headquarters, or its private office. You cannot interview its
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