Page:The Mikado or the town of titipu.djvu/18

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Ko. No. Pardon me, but there I am adamant. As official Headsman, my reputation is at stake, and I can't consent to embark on a professional operation unless I see my way to a successful result.

Pooh. This professional conscientiousness is highly creditable to you, but it places us in a very awkward position.

Ko. My good sir, the awkwardness of your position is grace itself compared with that of a man engaged in the act of cutting off his own head.

Pish. I am afraid that, unless you can obtain a substitute—

Ko. A substitute? Oh, certainly— nothing easier. (To Pooh-Bah). Pooh-Bah, I appoint you Lord High Substitute.

Pooh. I should be delighted. Such an appointment would realise my fondest dreams. But no, at any sacrifice, I must set bounds to my insatiable ambition!

TRIO

Ko-Ko. My brain it teems With endless schemes Both good and new For Titipu; But if I flit, The benefit That I'd diffuse The town would lose! Now every man To aid his clan Should plot and plan As best he can, And so, Although I’m ready to go, Yet recollect 'Twere disrespect Did I neglect To thus effect This aim direct, So I object— So I object— So I object—

Pooh-Bah. I am so proud, If I allowed My family pride To be my guide, I’d volunteer To quit this sphere Instead of you, In a minute or two. But family pride Must be denied, And set aside. And mortified. And so, Athough I wish to go, And greatly pine To brightly shine, And take the line Of a hero fine, With grief condign I must decline— I must decline— I must decline—

Pish-Tush. I heard one day A gentleman say That criminals who Are cut in two Can hardly feel The fatal steel, And so are slain Without much pain. If this is true, It's jolly for you; Your courage screw To bid us adieu, And go And show Both friend and foe How much you dare. I'm quite aware It's your affair, Yet I declare I’d take your share, But I don’t much care I don’t much care— I don’t much care—

AllTo sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock.
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

[Exeunt Pooh. and Pish.