Page:The New Yorker 0004, 1925-03-14.pdf/8

Of All Things

*** Fosdick, thank the Lord, is out at last, and the acute problem of over-crowding in the First Presbyterian Church is nearing a solution. *** The New Yorker wishes one and all an Ideal Ides of March. Tax vobiscum. *** Nils Fischer, the son of the Swedish Rockefeller, recovered his memory after a three-months' lapse and his first remark was probably that time certainly flies and he didn't realize it was so close to income tax day, but would get after the matter right away. *** The President's inaugural address was exceptionally short. Some of us, however, like the long ones best. In neglecting to read them we save more time.

*** Colonel Coolidge left home for the inauguration in a sleigh. It will interest antiquarians to learn that the vehicle was drawn by one of those quaint, preCal, non-electric horses. *** The same morning Calvin drove Potential Pegasus only 96 volts, 14 kilowatts. Is the rising generation getting effete? *** Liberty is offering $50,000 for an idea for Gloria Swanson. Our Computing Department hopes to be able to announce soon how much it will cost to furnish all our movie actresses with one idea apiece. *** We have a friend who says he has a big idea for a lot of them which he is willing to give away. *** We learn that the beginners-in-English class which has been working on that Times headline, "Drys Swamp Wets in State Law Clash", reports no progress. *** In the play jury plan "the public's rights are to he guarded by John S. Sumner." field for Mr. Sumner, who heretofore has been concerned only with wrongs. An interesting new *** Our entry in the World's Biggest News contest is the story of alleged disharmony between Messrs. Mutt and Jeff. Mr. Mutt, we gather, is a liberal-minded gentleman, but his patience has been sorely tried from time to time by Jeff's failure to appreciate the difference between liberty and license. Mr. Walter Lippman, it is understood, sees the difference perfectly; while John O'Hara Cosgrave, leader of the Hopeless Minority, is understood to be siding in with Jeff. In the interest of consistent journalism, it is expected that the Council will order someone who can be relied upon not to take issue with Mutt. *** The New Yorker is not satisfied with this demand to clean up Broadway. There can be no compromise with the theatre. Nothing but complete Prohibition of the Drama, by Nation al Amendment, will suit us. We have no intention of abstaining, hut we want to know what G. B. S, will say when his label is pasted on a few bootleg shows. *** Citizens are protesting against the gag put on Count Karolyi by the State Department. Some people are unhappy when a foreigner doesn't lecture. *** An earthquake finally struck New York, but we didn't know anything about it until we saw it in the papers the next day. A good one on the earthquake. But it sets us wondering. Maybe the world did come to an end on that night when the Apostle of Doom said it would, and the reporters muffed the story. That, we submit, would be a good one on New York. *** The more we think about it, the more it worries us. If the earth has resigned, it is time we all knew it, no matter what interests may be affected. The Times may have got the story, but the Times is so definitely opposed to radical changes that it may have considered it unfit to print. Page Upton Sinclair. *** The New Yorker, incidentally, at some little expense of time and money, has prepared a bill, which is to be introduced into the Assembly of the State of New York at the earliest possible moment. It hereby calls upon all good citizens to come to its support, If there is sufficient demand, The New Yorker will make the necessary arrangements for a special train to carry interested lobbyists to Albany when the bill comes up for discussion.

The bill follows:

An act to make reference to the unfortunate happening of Saturday. Feb. 28, as the New York fire and not as the New York earthquake compulsory. The People of the State of New York, represented