"You see, pardner, he war dead gone on that ar gal, an' believin' that all's fair in love an' war, he asked me if I would straddle his broncho an' ride on about six miles ahead to ther Cross Bar ranch, which was located in a canyon a half-mile off ther trail, an' couldn't be seen, an' tell ther boys there that he had a Dutchman aboard that war afraid of bein' held up by road agents, which war true enough. He told me to tell the boys that he wanted to play a joke on ther Dutchman by havin' them come tearin' after ther stage out of ther canyon on their bronchos, an' to have them keep up a stiff yell an' use their forty-fivers some liberal, but to be dad- busted careful to shoot high, as he war goin' to git out an' pertend to defend ther stage. In this way, by purtendin' to fight ther robbers to a standstill, Jake hoped to gain ther undyin' gratitood of Gretchen an' have her love him hard for a dad- busted hero.
"So, pardner, makin' believe to ther old man that I wanted to limber up a leetle on horseback, I started out for Cross Bar ranch, while Jake held them a half hour at Twelve-Mile, makin' 'em think he had to fix ther harness, so's to give me time to fix things with ther boys. I didn't have any trouble with 'em on that score, pard, for they hadn't had such a pizen big layout of fun in a coon's age. So I had plenty of time to git back to ther stage 'fore it war within two miles of where ther punchers war to help Jake make a dadbusted hero of hisself.
"Ther outfit they used for a stage was a long box spring-wagon with curtains on ther sides, with room for three seats, but ther bein' only four aboard we used only two, leavin' quite a space back for mail sacks and packages. On purtence of her bein' able to see ther kentry better, Jake had got ther gal in the front seat with him, while ther dad meditatively smoked his pipe in ther back seat.
"It war that way I found 'em when I met 'em on ther trail, an' Jake tipped me ther wink to get in ther back seat with ther old man. So, after tyin' ther bronk at ther back, I dumb in 'longside of ther old fellow, an' fell to tellin' wild yarns about ther cowpunchers an' road agents. It war about time for ther boys to show up, an' I had commenced to think they had fluked me, when all ter once I seed a half dozen of 'em cum scootin' out of ther canyon an' yellin' like a pack er durned Comanches.
"Say, pard, you ought ter have seen that Dutchman's face as ther boys commenced ter shoot. Talk about skeer; he war worse skeered than any durned tenderfoot that ever danced before a drunken cowboy's forty-five.
"He yelled, 'Mine Got in Himmel, is dose der road agents?' 'Yes,' says Jake, 'an' Dick Bummell's gang at that, ther worst in ther southwest.' At that Jake commenced to lash ther horses, an' we went whirlin' over ther prairie, slikerty kersloot, faster than ther devil after a sinner, while the leetle gal war all ther time cryin' out, 'O! my poor papa, he'll be killed!' An' Jake war tryin' to curry her down with soft words.
"Purty soon he saw ther horses war sweatin' like a nigger at election, an' gittin' blowed bad, while ther bronk at ther back war tearin' round like mad, tryin' to git loose. Jake saw something had ter be done, so turnin' to me he says, 'Climb over here an' take these ar reins an' slow up a leetle.' Then he drew his shootin' iron an' looked at ther loads, borrowed mine, an' commenced to crawl back an' untie ther broncho.
"Pardner, it war mean, but Gretchen, thinkin' it was all real stuff, called out to him in tones of terror, 'O Mr. Hodge, what are you goin' ter do?' 'Goin' ter save you, or leave my carcass for ther coyotes to feed upon,' sung back Jake as he jumped to ther ground.
"At that he sprung inter ther saddle, an' yelled ter me ter drive faster. I had nothin' to do but ter obey orders, so I gave ther horses such a cut as drove them sockdoleger inter ther collars, givin' ther stage such a jerk forward that it loosened ther old Dutchman's seat, dumpin' him backards among ther mail sacks, where with his fat legs wavin' in ther air he lay on ther broad of his back bellerin' louder'n a drove of stampeded cattle in a storm.
"Jake by this time, watched by Gretchen, war ridin' helter skelter back at ther supposed robbers. All at once he pulled up an' went ter gittin' out his guns. Ther gal cried, 'He's goin' ter shoot 'em.' She was so excited *hat she didn't notice me
