CHAPTER II
PREPARATION—LOVE—JEALOUSY—SEPARATION AND DEPARTURE.
IT was a clear, starlight evening in the mon li of May, that I found myself slowly Healing tlie tine mansion of Benjamin! Huiuly, to behold my sweet and dearly loved Lilian, perhaps for the last time I felt strangely, as 1 had never felt before. A week had elapsed, and all had been arranged for my departure, at an early hour on the following morning. The consent $f my parents had been reluctantly yielded to the powerful eloquence and soft persuasion of my enthusiastic friend. Already had my trunks been packed, and my ptirsr title. I, for the long separation. Al ready had I listened to the parental advice of my father, and seen the tears of sorrow in my beloved mother's eyes. The struggle of consent, but not of parting, was now over , and 1 was wending my way to ' the house of my friend, to take leave of one, at the thought of whom my heart ever beat rapidly. A.S I said before, I felt strangely. I was about to bid adieu a Long, perchance a last, adieu to all the bright scenes of my childhood to friends near and dear to me to father and mother and, last, though not least, to tht idol of my purer thoughts.
It is hard, very hard, to leave the scenes of our youth for the first time to venture forth, we scarce know whither, like a fea ther borne unconsciously upon the strong est current of air. However much we may plan in secret however strikingly we may draw the pictures of adventure in the rosy colors of anticipation however great may be our jnclination to go and see the world for ourselves; yet when the time of separation comes when we are about to cut the cord that binds us to all we have ever seen and loved the heart grows sad, and soft, and we feel as if staggering un der the weight of some impending ca- Jamity.
Thus I felt, and a great deal more which I cannot describe, as I paused for a mo ment upon the steps of Lilian Huntly's dwelling, to compose my agitated nerves and appear calm and collected. Why was
it that my agitation shoald now only in crease? Why could I never appear before her as before any other I had ever seen cool and collected? Why must my heart always flutter so, and my usually free- coming words stick chokingly in my throat, or congeal upon my lips? Was it because I loved her? I would have given half mv expected inheritance to talk to her freely as I could to others. I had often tried it, but in vain. I always made a fool of my self, and I knew it. 1 fancied Lilian knew it too; and this only added to my embar rassment. My heart and my self-esteem whispered me I was loved; but my bash ful fears told me the contrary. I had never tested her, and now I was about to do it. If she loved me, she would plainly show it the moment of separation. I was shortly to be made happy or miserable, or miser ably happy; for if she loved me, I should be happy in knowing it unhappy in the thought of a long parting. 1 trembled as I thought, until my knees smote each other as did Belshazzer's.
At last, desperate effort, I assumed a courage I did not possess, and, ascending the steps, rang the bell. In another min ute I was ushered into the parlor, and the servant who admitted me was already gone to summon my fair judge. 1 gazed around upon the beautiful paintings which adorn ed the walls, but without seeing them. I felt like a guilty culprit about to hear hi$ doom. Could money, at that moment, have purchased me easy assurance,! would have had it at any price. 1 remained in suspense some five minutes, when the dool opened and Lilian entered entered like a fairy being into her golden realms.
Heavens! how lovely! I had never seen her, or ought else, look so eiichantingly sweet before. In complexion and fea tures, Lilian strongly resembled her bro ther save that everything was more soft, more effeminate, more exquisitely beauti ful, Her skin was fair, and clear as ala baster, with a slight tint of crimson upon each cheek. Her features were all of the finest mold. Her large, soft, dear blue eyes, were rendered extremely fascinating by long, drooping, delicately fringed lashes. In their depths was a soul of Undei thought, feeling, and love; and, most joy ful discovery! they were now swimming in
