Page:The Relentless City.djvu/141

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been validated.
THE RELENTLESS CITY
131

upstairs with her to her room. Two minutes afterwards Bilton came in—strolled in.'

' You mean he didn't knock?' asked Judy.

' Oh, my dear, what does it matter whether he knocked or not? As a matter of fact, I think he did, but he came in on the top of his knock. Anyhow, there was no doubt in my mind as to what their relations were; but, to make sure, I asked Mrs. Emsworth. It was a horrible thing to do, but I did it. I like that woman; she is what she is, but she is extremely bon enfant, a nice, straightforward boy. And she told me. I was perfectly right: he had been living with her for the last two years.'

Sybil got up, and began walking up and down the room.

' It hurt me,' she went on; ' it hurt me intolerably. It hurt my self-respect that he should come to me like that. No, he had not broken with her—at any rate, not definitely. She was perfectly straightforward with me, and in a curious sort of way she was sorry for me, as one is sorry for a pain one does not understand. She could not see, I think, that it made any difference.'

Judy's rather short nose went in the air.

' Luckily, it does not matter much what that sort of woman thinks,' she said.

Sybil did not reply for a moment.

' You don't see my difficulty, then,' she said; ' my difficulty, my indecision, is that I am not certain whether she is right or not. Look at it this way: I was attracted by Mr. Bilton; I felt for him that which I believe in me does duty for love. I liked him and I admired him; I liked the fact that he admired me. Now, all the time that I liked and admired him this thing had happened. I liked the man who had done that. What difference, then, can my knowing it make?'

Judy looked at her in surprise.

' If he had happened to be a murderer?' she said.