The Queer Side of Things.
HE two spirits William and James—whose previous argument touching the possibility of the existence of worlds it is the reader's duty to recollect—were again wandering through the desolation of unoccupied space, when James, the young and fanciful, suddenly once again broke the oppressive silence.
"William," said he, "I have been thinking more about that system of creation of which I spoke."
William chuckled a rumbling chuckle of unmannerly raillery, and said—
"You have, of course, in thinking it over again, perceived the wild impracticability of the whole thing; and are about to unreservedly admit that neither universes, worlds, man, or anything else could possibly exist"
"I have perceived nothing of the kind," replied James, somewhat irritably. "But the phase of the subject which has just been occupying my mind is war"
"Yes," said William in his nasty way, "that assuredly would be the most prominent—nay, the engrossing—phase of any existence in which those phantastically imaginary creatures you call 'human beings' might take part. War—extermination—the end. Well?"
"Well, I admit the preponderance of war, but not the sequel you are pleased to suggest. I have dreamed the whole thing in its sequence. There would be war—war becoming ever more and more devastating—to a certain point"
"But," interrupted William," before you go on wasting valuable eternity with your speculations, let me just ask you one question. You will, I take it, at once admit that the predominant characteristic of these human beings of yours is—foolishness bordering on idiotcy?"
"Well, ye—es," said James, communing with himself. "Ye—es. I see them universally agreeing to abolish all self-respect and establish a complicated system of mutual fraud which they will call 'commerce.' I see them heaping all their wealth upon howlers of drivelling comic songs, while allowing great writers to die of starvation. Ye—es, I admit the predominant characteristic."
"Very well, then," said William, "are these 'human beings' worth inventing?"
"Well—n—. Beshrew me, mustn't I amuse myself with a fad if I like?" said James, feeling rather cornered, and consequently angry. "Let me go on, while I remember my Vision of War. Well, first I seemed to see my human beings agreeing to kill each other with sharpened flints; this was slow work and not sufficiently sanguinary, so they set their brains (there, don't sneer) their brains to work to devise something capable of shedding larger quantities of blood with more facility. You need not laugh at that, for blood would be
