The Queer Side of Things.
HE incidents of the following story occurred at a very remote age, anterior to the European glacial epoch, and, therefore, bear no sort of analogy to anything which could possibly take place in our times.
There once lived a very affable gentleman whose eye was exceeding bright and knowing, and the grasp of his hand was hearty and effusive, so that he was most pleasant to shake hands with; and many persons would make long journeys across the deserts and the oceans to have their hands shaken by him, feeling much delight and satisfaction at it. These would sit down before him—him that had the eye that was so bright and knowing—and would hold out their hands to be shaken; and he of the bright eye was so affable that he would by no means make any charge, either great or small, for shaking their hands, but would shake them gratis, even for nothing.
And this affable person, whose eye was knowing, would converse with all comers upon the most pleasant and attractive subjects, and this at any hour of the day or night which those persons might choose; nor would he ever refuse to talk upon subjects, either this subject or that, whichever might be the more pleasant; and for this conversing also would he make no charge, either great or small; and this thing greatly pleased and delighted his hearers.
Also he would exchange with them the most pleasant items of news that might be found in the daily papers; making this communion the more enjoyable by repeating to them the jokes from the comic papers, even the best jokes they contained.
Also he would ask after the health of their wives and families, and even of their cousins and distant relations; never churlishly refusing to inquire of the health of any relation, however distant; and for all this, too, did he make no charge, even the smallest charge.
But he who shall say that these things were all the pleasant things he did, shall say falsely and otherwise than the truth; for he did other things he would make little feasts for those he knew, and the feasts were of chicken and champagne; and they that partook of his chicken and champagne were comforted, for they knew there would be no charge; therefore did they consume them freely until their
