Jem: Ah! But your grandmother———
Kitty: How dare you speak in that way of dear grandmamma?
Jem: I never said a word against her———
Kitty: But you were going to!
Jem: Nothing of the sort.
Kitty (repeats): I only know that papa, mamma, and grandmamma always said———
Jem: Oh, Heavens! (He escapes.)
Kitty: Was ever anyone so wretched as I? Only three months married, and to find my husband an obstinate, vindictive, strait-laced country bumpkin! Well, not a bumpkin perhaps, after all, but almost as bad as that! Why, oh! why did I leave my happy home, where I could do what I liked from morning till night, and no one was ever disagreeable to me? And yet during my engagement what a lovely time I had! Jem seemed so kind and gentle, and promised me he would never say a cross word to me! He declared our married life should be one long sunshiny summer day; whilst I promised to be his little ministering angel! I reminded him of that yesterday. And what did he say? That he had never thought a little ministering angel could be such a little brute! I can hardly believe he is the same man I used to love so dearly! (Exit in tears.)
(After a moment, Porter, the lady's-maid, enters, ushering in Lady Florence Beauchamp.)
Lady Flo: Your mistress is not here, after all, Porter?
Porter: No, milady! Yet I heard her voice only a few moments ago.
Lady Flo: Well then, Porter, you must go and tell her a lady wishes to speak with her in the boudoir, and be sure not to say who the "lady" is, however much she may ask. I wish this visit to be a little surprise to her. Nor must you mention that Sir William is here.
(Enter Kitty, with traces of tears on her face.)
Lady Flo: Kitty, darling, Kitty!
Kitty: Aunty! Can it be you? This is delightful! (They embrace.)
Lady Flo: I'm glad you call it delightful! I came here as a little surprise to you; but I daresay you will think me a great bore for taking you by storm, and interrupting your tête-à-tête with Jem.
Kitty: Oh! far from it! I am only too, too happy you've come!
Lady Flo: Is that the real truth?
Kitty: Indeed, it is!
Lady Flo: I thought I should find you as blooming as a rose in June; but you are not quite so flourishing as I expected. Those pretty eyes look as if as if—well, as if you had a cold in the head!
Kitty: They look as if I had been crying, you mean! And so I have. (Bursts into tears afresh, and throws herself into Lady Flo's arms.)
(Enter Sir William and Jem, the former standing amazed. Kitty, leaving Lady Flo's arms, throws herself into those of Sir William, with renewed sobs. Sir William turns in surprise to Jem. Lady Flo looks down in embarrassment.)
Jem: Oh yes, Kitty! This is all very well. Why not tell them I'm a monster at once?
Kitty: And so you are!
Jem (aside): Have you no sense of decency?
Lady Flo (aside): This is truly shocking.
Sir W. (aside): Good Heavens!
Kitty: Is it my fault that my uncle and aunt are witnesses of your ill-temper?
(Enter Porter.)
Porter: Your ladyship's trunks have just arrived from the station.
Lady Flo (hesitating): Let them be taken back again.
Sir W.: We had intended staying but an hour or two.
Jem (to Sir W.): But I beg you to stay.
Kitty (to Lady Flo): Never were you so much needed.
Jem (to Porter): Let her ladyship's trunks be taken to the Blue Rooms.
Kitty: Not to the Blue Rooms. They are quite damp. (To Jem) I may speak a word in my own house, I suppose? (To Porter) Let the trunks be taken to the Turret Room.
Jem: The chimneys smoke there.
Kitty: Excuse me. They do not.
Jem: Excuse me. They do.
Sir W.: They smoked once upon a time, perhaps, but may not now.
Porter: Where may I say the luggage is to be carried?
Jem: Take your orders from your mistress.
Kitty: No! From your master!
Jem (to Kitty): Spare me at least before the lady's-maid!
Kitty (to Jem): Oh! nobody knows better how you behave than Porter. Our quarrels are no secret from her.
Jem: That must be your fault. How can she know of them but from you?
Kitty: I tell her nothing. But your voice would reach to the ends of the earth.
Jem: As for yours—why———
Kitty: Grandmamma always said my
