Lady Flo (impatient): I wish, darling, you would allow me to speak!
Kitty: Oh! I beg pardon.
Lady Flo (continuing, blandly): Not at all! Now, I replied: "The salmon has just fallen into the fire, and cook has had to send for another!"
Kitty: That was true?
Lady Flo: Not in the least! I had ordered red mullet. And Will ate his fish without noticing the difference.
Kitty: Jem would not have made that mistake.
Lady Flo: Oh, yes, he would, if you had just glanced at him in the right manner.
Kitty (eagerly): Show me how to do it!
Lady Flo (drily): It requires the inspiration of the moment. Ah! could you but see me with Will!
Kitty: It is certain you are very happy together.
Lady Flo: So we are; owing to my always using sweetness, firmness, and indifference just at the right moment. But all this, I confess, requires intelligence.
Kitty: Had I but the intelligence! It must be splendid to be able to avert a coming storm in this way.
Lady Flo: There never has been the question of a storm between Will and me!
Kitty: Happy, happy people!
Lady Flo: And you, my very dear children, must become happy, happy people too! William would feel your sorrow as deeply as I. We must do all in our power to restore peace and comfort between you! I shall try my very utmost to show you your little failings—here and there—you know. And as for Will! Why, he'll talk Jem over in no time! Before a week is out we shall see you walking arm-in-arm to matins—the happiest couple in all Yorkshire.
Kitty: Impossible!
Lady Flo: Nay! We We can but try. (Enter Sir William.) Ah! Here comes your uncle. Now, run away, dear, and leave us alone for a discreet little talk. Who knows but what we may hit upon a plan to help you! (Exit Kitty.)
Lady Flo: Will, dearest! We must talk very seriously over our niece and nephew together.
Sir W. (aside): It is high time!
Lady Flo: But, first of all, by the way, I want to know what it was you were saying to Jem, when I came into the room a few minutes ago.
Sir W. (consciously): To Jem? Why, I was saying nothing to Jem!
Lady Flo: Oh, yes, you were! Now try to remember. Kitty and I heard you talking in quite an excited manner as we came downstairs. Then as we came nearer the door you lowered your voice.
Sir W.: Indeed, no!
Lady Flo: Yes, yes, you did, dear!
Sir W.: No, no, I didn't, dear!
Lady Flo: Don't tell fibs, darling.
Sir W.: You want to know too much, my dear, good Flo.
Lady Flo: Too much? Oh, no! That would be impossible! However, I know you will tell me the whole truth by-and-by.
Sir W.: First let me know what you have to say.
Lady Flo: Well, I'm in the deepest distress about the two young people. They seem to be at terrible loggerheads. Now, perhaps Jem confided the secret of his unhappy married life to you?
Sir W.: He never said a word about it! (Bites his lip.)
Lady Flo: Nevertheless, I assure you they lead a cat-and-dog existence.
Sir W.: Oh, dear, dear! Is that so?
Lady Flo: Why, of course! You saw them quarrelling yourself. But still I have hopes we may be able to arrange matters a little better for them. Who knows but what we may see them re-united before we leave this house?
Sir W.: We will do our best to help them, poor young things!
Lady Flo: Yes! Poor young things!
Sir W.: And I've no doubt we shall succeed.
Lady Flo: At the same time, it seems to me as if the abyss between them may widen.
Sir W.: That may be so. The abyss may widen (Indicates an imaginary abyss, at which Lady Flo shakes her head.)
Lady Flo: If a man and woman aren't made for one another
Sir W.: Like you and me. I pointed that out to Jem.
Lady Flo: I'm afraid it didn't affect him as it ought. (With a sentimental sigh) The only consolation we can derive from the misfortune of our nephew and niece is that we are happier than they!
Sir W.: Clever little woman! (Kisses her.)
Lady Flo: Dear old Will! (Kisses him. Then with a sudden change of tone) But now I must hear what it was Jem was saying to you when I came into the room! You answered that "of course you wouldn't tell his aunt for the wide world." That must have been a façon de parler!
