neglect of others, or my own inexperience, or inability to suit their tastes?
What should I do then? Apply to my brother, and explain my circumstances and my resolves to him? No, no; even if I told him all my grievances, which I should be very reluctant to do, he would be certain to disapprove of the step: it would seem like madness to him, as it would to my uncle and aunt, or to Milicent. No; I must have patience and gather a hoard of my own. Rachel should be my only confidant—I thought I could persuade her into the scheme; and she should help me, first to find out a picture dealer in some distant town; then, through her means, I would privately sell what pictures I had on hand that would do for such a purpose, and some of those I should thereafter paint. Besides this, I would contrive to dispose of my jewels—not the family jewels, but the few I brought with me from home, and those my uncle gave me on my marriage. A few months arduous toil might well be borne by me, with such an end in view; and in the
