officer of the Guards, who had been her favorite before my arrival. He used to shake his head at me, and laugh in a cynical way, and say he pitied me; that Marie was "an exacting little devil."
Her exactions, however, flattered me. You must remember that I was very young. I do not pretend that I had no fondness for her: I was very fond of her. I thought we were true friends, and I laughed at those who suggested that Countess Talke might be induced to marry again; for, I said, she looked upon me as a younger brother. I must have been very young! But I soon lost my youth under her tutelage: she taught me to distrust every human being whom I met.
A pure-hearted woman like yourself can no more understand the immense influence which Marie Talke and those of her stamp wield over a young, impressionable man than you can realize the vividness with which every sin of my life stands before me when I am with you, until I feel that I merit all your contempt, and am not fit to be in your presence. I thank Heaven that you cannot understand it.
This flirtation, as we should call it in America, went on for nearly two seasons. Then I learned, by accident as I supposed, how Marie felt towards me,—that she would die of grief if I did not marry her. I, poor fool, believed it. As an act of great magnanimity, and also because I was fond of her in a certain way, I consented to marry her. Kind, was I not? Then, indeed, I was conceited!
The wedding day was set, and Marie's brother, her
