VIRGINITY AND ITS TRADITIONS.
desire, when he buys or acquires, to obtain unsoiled goods. Comes a time, however, when the value of these so-called unsoiled goods grows questionable. Something virgin, in terms of common sense, is not necessarily something valuable; here enters the thinking, and, ultimately, the erotic, element. Let a man fall to asking why he demands virginity, and he will speedily begin to realise that it is the last thing he requires. Virginity spells ignorance, awkwardness and obstacles; maturity means understanding and co-operation. Thus, by easy stages, we reach the conclusion, mentioned by Havelock Ellis and quoted above, that for most men, whether they realise it or not, the love-wise woman has a greater erotic value than the virgin.[1]
- ↑ Brantome, of course, has some pertinent remarks on the subject. In his Lives of Fair and Gallant Ladies, he devotes the seventh Discourse to the following topic: Concerning married women, widows and maids,—to wit, which of these same be better than other to love. "One day." writes the genial philosopher, "when I was at the Court of Spain at Madrid, and conversing with a very honourable lady……she did chance to ask me this question following:— 'Which of the three had the greater heat of love: widow, wife or maid?' After myself had told her mine opinion she did in turn give me hers in some such terms as these: 'That albeit maids, with all that heat of blood that is theirs, be right well disposed to love, yet do they not love so well as wives and widows. This is because of the great experience of the business the latter have, and the obvious fact that supposing a man born blind……he can never desire the gift of sight so strongly as he that has sweetly enjoyed the same a while and then been deprived of it.'" Later, quoting Boccaccio, Brantome also says:— "The widow is more painstaking of the pleasure of love an hundred fold than the virgin, seeing the latter is all for dearly guarding her precious virginity and maidenhead. Further, virgins be naturally timid, and above all in this matter, awkward in inept to find the sweet in such encounters. But this is not so with the widow, who is already well practised, bold and ready in this art, having long ago bestowed and given away what the virgin doth make so much ado about giving. ……Besides all this, the maid doth dread this first assault of her viginity,……whereas widows have no such fear, but do
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