The out or inside of their heads,
Between their toilets and their beds.50
In a dull stream, which moving slow,
You hardly see the current flow;
If a small breeze obstruct the course,
It whirls about, for want of force,
And in its, narrow circle gathers55
Nothing but chaff, and straws, and feathers.
The current of a female mind
Stops thus, and turns with every wind;
Thus whirling round together draws
Fools, fops, and rakes, for chaff and straws.60
Hence we conclude, no women's hearts
Are won by virtue, wit, and parts:
Nor are the men of sense to blame,
For breasts incapable of flame;
The fault must on the nymphs be plac'd,65
Grown so corrupted in their taste.
The pleader, having spoke his best,
Had witness ready to attest,
Who fairly could on oath depose,
When questions on the fact arose,70
That every article was true;
Nor farther those deponents knew: —
Therefore he humbly would insist,
The bill might be with costs dismiss'd.
The cause appear'd of so much weight,75
That Venus, from her judgment seat,
Desir'd them not to talk so loud,
Else she must interpose a cloud:
For, if the heavenly folk should know
These pleadings in the courts below,80
That mortals here disdain to love,
She ne'er could show her face above;