Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/292

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282
POLITE CONVERSATION.

Lady Answ. Why, butter, I've heard 'em say, is mad twice a year.

Ld. Sparkish [to the maid.] Mrs. Betty, how does your body politick?

Col. Fie, my lord, you'll make Mrs. Betty blush.

Lady Smart. Blush! ay, blush like a blue dog.

Neverout. Pray, Mrs. Betty, are you not Tom Johnson's daughter?

Betty. So my mother tells me, sir.

Ld. Sparkish. But, Mrs. Betty, I hear you are in love.

Betty. My lord, I thank God, I hate nobody; I am in charity with all the world.

Lady Smart. Why, wench, I think thy tongue runs upon wheels this morning; how came you by that scratch upon your nose: have you been fighting with the cats?

Col. [to miss.] Miss, when will you be married?

Miss. One of these odd-come-shortly's, colonel.

Neverout. Yes; they say the match is half made, the spark is willing, but miss is not.

Miss. I suppose the gentleman has got his own consent for it.

Lady Answ. Pray, my lord, did you walk through the Park in the rain?

Ld. Sparkish. Yes, madam, we were neither sugar nor salt, we were not afraid the rain would melt us. He, he, he.

[Laugh.

Col. It rain'd, and the sun shone at the same time.

Neverout. Why, then the devil was beating his wife behind the door with a shoulder of mutton.

[Laugh.

Col. A blind man would be glad to see that.

Lady