W sent me a catalogue of Mrs. Prudence's scholars, and desired my advice as to the management of them:
Miss-Chief, the ringleader.
Miss-Advice, that spoils her face with paint.
Miss-Rule, that does every thing she is forbid.
Miss-Application, who has not done one letter in her sampler.
Miss-Belief, who cannot say the Creed yet.
Miss-Call, a perfect Billingsgate.
Miss-Fortune, that lost her grandmother's needle.
Miss-Chance, that broke her leg by romping.
Miss-Guide, that led the young misses into the dirt.
Miss-Laid, who left her porringer of flower and milk where the cat got it.
Miss-Management, that let all her stockings run out at heels for want of darning.
For which I sent the following Masters:
Master-Stroke, to whip them.
Master-Workman, to dress them.
Master-Ship, to rig them.
Master-Lie, to excuse them.
Master-Wort, to purge them.
Master-Piece, to patch them.
Master-Key, to lock them up.
Master-Peck, to mortify them.
If these can't keep your ladies quiet,
Pull down their courage with low diet.
Perhaps, dear sir, you'll think it cruel,
To feed them on plain watergruel;
But, take my word, the best of breeding,
As it is plain, requires plain feeding.
Vide Roscommon.
R. 11. The Rule of Repetition: You must never let a pun be lost, but repeat and comment upon it, till every one in the company both hears and understands it; ex. gr. Sir, I have good wine to give you; excellent pontack, which I got 'pon-tick; but, sir, we must have a little pun-talk over it; you take me, sir, you, and you, and you too, madam. — There is pun-talk upon pontack, and 'pon-tick too, hay?
R. 12.
