however, be indifferent to what I know must be the feeling's of all my family relations. The affectionate attention I have received from you all, has not been thrown away. Believe me, my dear Alfred, I shall never cease to grieve for the unavoidable separation which my present pursuit entails upon me. But affection always descends. I believe the child never loves the parent as the parent does the child. What, then, must be the feelings of my dear father and mother? I know that I have always felt the warmest feelings towards them, and, although I spared them the pain of a formal separation, I am sure they must have suffered much since on my account. The anxiety I am occasioning my family is the only drawback I feel to the gladness my enthusiasm for the cause I have undertaken creates. However, I comfort myself with the idea that I may be again installed among you, in the service of Spain, in my native country or in France, after the Liberal Government is settled…
"P.S. Tarbes, September 30th.—I finish my letter from this place, whence I go immediately into Spain. I shall probably precede Colonel Gurrea to some important place with despatches, but, if not, I shall perform the same service for Valdes. I may now be considered a military man, and you would think so if you saw my equipage. I have a good horse, and am clad in a cocked hat, with a tri-coloured plume of leathers, laced surtout, and jack-boots!…
"I enclose the song the Spaniards will sing in going into battle.
"Your affectionate brother,
"Robert Gouger."
We now return to the diary to follow up the thread of the narrative:—
