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She sez I stoushed 'im, when I promised fair
To chuck it, even to a friendly spar.
Stoushed 'im! I never roughed 'is pretty 'air!
I only spanked 'im gentle, fer 'is mar.
If I'd 'a' jabbed 'im once, there would 'a' been
An inquest; an' I sez so to Doreen.
I might 'a' took an' cracked 'im in the street,
When she was wiv 'im there lars' Frid'y night.
But don't I keep me temper when we meet?
An' don't I raise me lid an' act perlite?
I only jerks me elbow in 'is ribs,
To give the gentle office to 'is nibs.
Stoushed 'im! I owns I met 'im on the quite,
An' worded 'im about a small affair;
An' when 'e won't put up 'is 'ands to fight—
('E sez, "Fer public brawls 'e didn't care")—
I lays 'im 'cross me knee, the mother’s joy,
An' smacks 'im 'earty, like a naughty boy.
An' now Doreen she sez I've broke me vow,
An' mags about this coot's pore "wounded pride."
An' then, o' course, we 'as a ding-dong row,
Wiv 'ot an' stormy words on either side.
She sez I done it out o' jealousy,
An' so, we parts fer ever—'er an' me.
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