216 FAMILIAR COLLOQUIES. I had of it taught me that it was the most wretched life in nature. Ir. Why does nobody quit it, then? Mis. Perhaps becaitse they are naturally wretched. Ir. I would not change this wretchedness for the fortune of a king; for there is nothing more like a king than the life of a beggar. Mis. What strange story do I hear? Is nothing more like snow than a coal ? Ir. Wherein consists the greatest hap- piness of kings ? Mis. Because in that they can do what they please. Ir. As for that liberty, than which nothing is sweeter, we have more of it than any king upon earth ; and I do not doubt but there are many kings that envy us beggars. Let there be war or peace, we live secure; we are not pressed for soldiers, nor pvit upon parish-offices, nor taxed. When the people are loaded with taxes, there is no scrutiny into our way of living. If we commit anything that is illegal, who will sue a beggar? If we beat a man, he will be ashamed to fight with a beggar. Kings cannot live at ease neither in war nor in peace, and the greater they are, the greater are their fears. The common people are afraid to offend us, out of a certain sort of reverence, as being conse- crated to God. Mis. But then, how nasty are ye in your rags and kennels ! Ir. What do they signify to real happiness ? Those things you speak of are out of a man. We owe our happiness to these rags. Mis. But I am afraid a good part of your happiness will fail you in a short time. Ir. How so ? Mis. Because 1 have heard a talk in the cities that there will be a law that mendicants shall not be allowed to stroll about at their pleasure, but every city shall maintain its own poor, and that they that are able shall be made to work. Ir. What reason have they for this ? Mis. Because they find great rogueries committed under pretence of begging, and that there are great incon- veniences arise to the public from your order. Ir. Ay, I have heard these stories time after time, and they will bring it about when the devil is blind. Mis. Perhaps sooner than you would have it. THE FABULOUS BANQUET. Polymythus, Gelasinus, Eidrapelus, Astceus, Philythlus, Philogelos, JEuglottus, Lerochares, Adolesches. Po. As it is unfitting for a well ordered city to be without laws and without a governor ; so neither ought a feast to be without orders and a president. Ge. If I may speak for the rest I like it very well. Po. Soho, sirrah ! bring hither the dice, the matter shall be determined by their votes ; he shall be our president that Jxipiter shall favoiir. Oh, brave ! Eutrapelus has it, the fittest man that could be chosen, if we had every individual man of us thrown. There is an usual proverb that has more truth in it than good Latin Novus rex nova lex, new lords new laws. Therefore, king, make thou laws. Hut. That this may be a merry and happy banquet, in the first place I command that no man tell a story but what is a ridiculous one. He that shall have no story to tell shall pay a groat, to be spent in wine ; and stories invented extempore shall be allowed as legitimate, provided regard be had to probability and decency. If nobody shall want a story, let those two that tell, the one the pleasantest and the other the dullest, pay for wine. Let the master of the feast be at no
