not want power to avenge themselves for the wrong done to them. Peter, being turned out of his church, can shut the gate of the kingdom of heaven against you: Paul has a sword, and St. Bartholomew a knife. The monk William has a coat of mail under his habit, and a heavy lance too. And how will you encounter St. George on horseback, in his cuirassier's arms, his sword, and his whinyard? Nor is Anthony without his weapon; he has his sacred fire. And the rest of them have either their arms or their mischiefs, that they can send out against whom they please. And as for myself, although I wear no weapons, you shall not turn me out unless you turn out my Son too, whom I hold in my arms. I will not be pulled away from Him; you shall either throw us both out or leave us both, unless you have a mind to have a church without a Christ. These things I would have you know, and consider what answer to give me, for I have the matter much at heart.
- From our Stone House, the Calends of
- August, the Year of my Son’s Passion,
- 1524. I, the Stony Virgin, have sub-
- scribed this with my own hand.
Me. In truth, this is a very terrible threatening letter, and I be- lieve Glaxicoplutus will take care what he does. Og. He will, if he is wise. Me. But why did not honest James write to him about this matter? Og. Truly I cannot tell, except it is because he is a great way off, and now-a-days all letters are intercepted. Me. But what wind carried you to England? Og. A very favourable wind, and I had made half a promise to the beyond-sea she-saint to pay her another visit within two or three years. Me. What did you go to ask for of her? Og. Nothing new but those common matters, the health of my family, the increase of my fortune, a long and a happy life in this world, and eternal happiness in the next. Me. But could not our Virgin Mary have done as much for you here? She has at Antwerp a temple much more magnificent than that beyond sea. Og. I will not deny that she is able, but one thing is bestowed in one place and another thing in another; whether this be her pleasure merely, or whether she being of a kind disposition, accommodates herself in this to our affections.
Me. I have often heard of James, but, prithee, give me some account of that beyond-sea lady. Og. I will do it as briefly as I can. Her name is very famous all over England, and you shall scarce find anybody in that island who thinks his affairs can be prosperous unless he every year makes some present to that lady, greater or smaller, according as his circumstances are in the world. Me. Whereabouts does she dwell? Og. Near the coast, upon the fui'thest part between the west and the north, about three miles from the sea; it is a town that depends chiefly upon the resort of strangers. There is a college of canons there, to which the Latins have added the name of Regulars, which are of a middle sort between monks and those canons that are called Seculars. Me. You tell me of amphibious creatiires, such as the beavers are. Og. Nay, so are crocodiles too. But trifling apart, I will tell you in three words: in odious cases they are canons, in favourable cases they are monks. Me. You have hitherto been telling rue riddles. Og. Why, then, I will give you a mathematical demon-
