CYCLOPS; OR, THE GOSPEL CARRIER. 325
Po. Nay, I have known a man cany the sheep in his face and the fox in his heart. And I wish he had as candid friends as he has black eyes, and that he had as well the value of gold as the colour of it. Ca. If he that wears a woollen hat must needs wear a sheep's head, how do you go loaded that carry a sheep and an ostrich too on your head 1 But does not he act more absurdly that carries a bird upon his head, and an ass in his breast ? Po. You bite too close. Ca. But it were very well if that gospel that you have so finely adorned did reci- procally adorn you. You have adorned it with colours, I wish it did adorn you with good manners. Po. I will make that my care. Ca. As you used to do.
Po. But omitting all reflections, do you really blame those that carry the gospel about them 1 Ca. No, by no means (minime gentium). Po. What, will you say that I am the least man in the world, that am taller than you by an ass's head 1 Ca. I do not think you are so much taller, though the ass should prick up his ears. Po. By an ox's head, I dare say. Ca. I like the comparison, but I said minime the adverb, not minime the vocative case. Po. Pray, what is the differ- ence between an egg and an egg 1 Ca. And what is the difference, say you, between the middle finger and the little finger 1 Po. Why, the middle finger is the longest. Ca. Wittily said. What is the difference between the ears of an ass, and those of a wolf? Po. The ears of a wolf are shorter. Ca. You have hit it. Po. But I used to measure long and short things by the span and by the ell, and not by the ears. Ca. Come on. He that carried Christ was called Chris- topher; and instead of Polyphemus, you, who carry the gospel, shall be called the gospel-bearer.
Po. Do you not think it a holy thing to carry the gospel 1 Ca. Not at all, unless you will allow me that asses are the greatest saints. Po. Why so ? Ca. Because one ass will carry at least three thousand such books ; and I am persuaded you would be able to carry as many yourself, if you were well hampered. Po. I think there is no absur- dity in attributing holiness to an ass because he carried Christ. Ca. I shall not envy you that holiness ; and if you have a mind to it, I will give you some relics of that very ass that Christ rode upon to kiss. Po. You will give me a very acceptable present ; for that ass was con- secrated by being touched by the body of Christ. Ca. And those persons touched Christ too that smote our Saviour on the face. Po. But come, tell me your mind seriously ; is it not a pious thing to carry the book of the gospel about one 1 Ca. It is a pious thing, if it be done sincerely, and without hypocrisy. Po. Talk of hypocrisy to monks; what has a soldier to do with hypocrisy? Ca. But first tell me what hypocrisy is. Po. When a man seems to be one thing, and is really another. Ca. But what does the cai'rying the gospel about you signify ; does it not signify a holy life 1 Po. I suppose it does. Ca. Well, then, where a man's life is not suitable to the book, is not that hypocrisy 1 Po. It seems so to be. But what is it truly to carry the gospel ] Ca. Some carry the gospel in their hands, as the Franciscans do the rules of St. Francis ; and at that rate the Paris porters, asses, and geldings may carry it as well as a Christian. SOILG carry it about in their mouths, and talk of nothing but Christ and the gospel ; this is pharisaical. Others carry it about in their hearts. He
