374 FAMILIAR COLLOQUIES.
what could you expect when the master of the house is out of order ?
Ja. But was he sick in good earnest? Gi. So sick that he would have devoured your three capons to his own share, if you would have treated him. Ja. I am impatient to hear your bill of fare. Gi. First of all there is a plateful of grey peas brought in, such as old women cry aboxit the streets, and this was for our landlord's own eating ; he pretended that this was his remedy against all diseases. Ja. How many guests were there of you at table? Gi. Sometimes eight or nine ; among whom was one Verpius, a learned gentleman, to whose character I suppose you are no stranger, and our landlord's eldest son. Ja. What was their mess? Gi. Why, the same that Melchisedek offered to Abraham, after he had conquered the five kings; and was not that enough for any reasonable man ?
Ja. But was there no meat? Gi. There was meat, but there was but a very little of it. Ja. What was it? Gi. I remember we were once nine of us at table, when there were no more than seven small lettuce leaves swimming in vinegar, but not a drop of oil to make them slip down. Ja. But did your landlord eat all his grey peas himself? Gi. You must know there was scarce a farthingworth of them ; how- ever, he did not absolutely forbid those that sat next him to taste them, but it looked uncivil to rob a sick man of his victuals. Ja. But were not your lettuce leaves split to make the greater show ? Gi. Why, truly, they were not ', but when those that sat at the upper end of the table had eaten up the leaves, the rest sopped their bread in the vinegar.
Ja. But what, I pray, came after these lettuce leaves? Gi. What ! what should come but cheese, the last dish at dinner?
Ja. But was this your daily fare ? Gi. Generally speaking, it was; but now and then, if the old gentleman had the good luck to get money in the way of trade that day, he would be a little more generous. Ja. How did you fare then ? Gi. Why, then he would send out to buy a pennyworth of fresh grapes, at nine bunches a penny; this made the whole family sing O be joyful. Ja. Why not? Gi. But then you must understand too, that this was never but when grapes were dog-cheap. Ja. What, then, did he never launch oiit but in autumn ? Gi. Yes, he will thus launch out at some other times too ; for you must know that there are fellows that catch a small sort of shell-fish most commonly on the shores, and cry them about the streets, and he would now and then buy an halfpennyworth of these ; then you would swear there had been a wedding-dinner in the family. There vas a fire made in the kitchen, though not very much of it neither, for these do not ask much boiling ; and these dainties come always after the cheese instead of a dessert. Ja. A very fine dessert, indeed ! But do you never use to have any flesh or fish 1
Gi. At last the old gentleman being overcome by my clamouring, began to live a little more nobly ; and whenever he had a mind to shew his generosity in good earnest, this was our bill of fare. Ja. I long to hear what that is. Gi. Imprimis, we had a dish of soup which they call a service, but I do not know why. Ja. A very rich one, I suppose. Gi. Very high seasoned with the following spices : They took you a large kettle of water, and set it over the fire ; into this they fling a good quantity of skimmed-milk cheese, grown as hard as a brickbat, that you can scarce cut it with a hatchet ; and
