that I am, how many nights I slept under Thy displeasure! But Thou wouldst not have me perish. I trust, O my Jesus! in Thy blessed Passion that Thou wilt enable me to change my life. Let not that sacred blood be lost, which with so much pain and sorrow Thou didst shed for my salvation.
3. But, O God! what have I done! Thou, my redeemer, hast shown that regard for my soul, so as to shed Thy blood for its salvation, and I have been so wretched as to allow it to perish for a mere nothing, for a caprice, fora maddening passion, fora miserable gratification, for contempt of Thy grace and love. Ah! if faith did not assure me that Thou hast promised to pardon those who repent, I should not now dare to implore Thy forgiveness. O my Saviour! I kiss Thy sacred wounds, and for the love of these wounds I beseech Thee to forget the injuries which I have committed against Thee. Thou hast said that, when the sinner repents, Thou wilt forget all his ingratitude. I am sorry above every evil for having despised Thee, my sovereign good; make haste to pardon me, as Thou hast promised; let me be quickly reconciled to Thee. I love Thee now more than myself; may I never more incur Thy displeasure. O Mary, refuge of sinners! succor a poor sinner who invokes thy assistance.
MEDITATION XI.
The Pain of Loss.
i. The greatest pain of hell is not the fire nor the darkness, not the stench, nor any other of all the material torments of that dreadful prison of despair; it is the pain of loss — that is, the pain of having lost God — which of itself may be said to constitute hell. The soul was created to be forever united with God, and to enjoy the sight of his enrapturing countenance. God is its last
