many times to restrain [my] tears for this reason, but I have never been able [to do so].” Then the brethren said, “Is it not possible for him that repenteth to seek to be alone? And would it not be better for him to act thus when he was praying with the brethren than when he was eating at the table with them? And is it not possible for the soul to weep continually with tears other than those which are visible?” [Then turning to him, they said,] “We wish to know what thou hast to say on the matter. For thou art so overwhelmed with [thy] tears that many of us who see thee in this state are ashamed to eat and take our fill.”
Then Sylvanus said unto those who had asked him [those questions], “Do ye not wish me to weep when I see holy men waiting upon me, men, the dust of whose feet I am unworthy [to sweep away]? Is it not proper that I should weep over myself? I weep then, O my brethren, because a man from the theatre is ministered unto by such holy men as these, and I am afraid lest I be smitten even as were Dathan and Abiram. And I weep especially because, being in ignorance, I cared so little at the beginning about the redemption (or salvation) of my soul, that I came in danger of being expelled by the brethren from the monastery, and I was obliged to give surety [for my better behaviour], and to take awful oaths that I would never again treat my life with contempt. For this reason I am not ashamed [to weep], and I have turned away from such things; for I know my sins and that if I was obliged to deliver up my soul I should find no happiness [in heaven].”
And as this man strove nobly in this manner Rabbâ himself bore testimony before all the brethren, and spake thus: “Behold, I bear testimony before God that, from the time when this monastery came into existence, among all the brethren who have lived with me therein, there hath been none who hath resembled completely the example [which I have conceived in my mind] with the exception of one.” Now when the brethren heard these things some of them thought that the one man of whom he spake was Theodore, and others thought he was Petronius, and others thought he was Arsenius, and at length Theodore asked the holy man of which monk he had spoken when he said this thing; but Rabbâ did not wish to say. But because Theodore and the other great fathers continued to entreat him [to tell them], for they wished to learn who he was, Rabbâ answered and said, “If I knew that vainglory would come to him of whom I am about to speak, and that he would be greatly praised, I would not shew [you] who he is; but, because I know that the more he is praised,
