Gram looked at her. Suddenly he turned pale—and then crimson. After a while he said, speaking with effort:
"I said it was better for two people who were not in perfect understanding to realize it before their relations had made such a change in their lives that neither of them—especially she—could ever obliterate the traces. If such be the case, they should try with some resignation and goodwill on either side to bring about harmony. Should this not be possible, then there is still the other way out. I don't know, of course, if you and Helge—how far you are affected.…"
Jenny laughed scornfully:
"I understand what you mean. To me it is just as binding that I have wanted to be his—promised it and cannot keep my promise—and just as humiliating as if I had really given myself to him—perhaps even more so."
"You will not speak like that when once you meet the man you can love with true, deep feeling."
Jenny shrugged her shoulders:
"Do you really believe in true and great love as you say?"
"Yes, I do. I know that you young people find the expression ludicrous, but I believe in it—for a good reason."
"I believe that every one loves according to his individuality; those who have a greater mind and are true to themselves do not fritter themselves away in little love affairs. I thought that I myself.… But I was twenty-eight when I met Helge, and I had never yet been in love. I was tired of waiting and wanted to try it. He was in love, young, warm-blooded, and sincere—and it tempted me. I lied to myself—exactly as all other women do. His intensity warmed me, and I was ready enough to imagine that I shared it, although I knew such an illusion can only be kept alive as long as there is no claim on one to prove one's love.
"Other women live under this illusion quite innocently, because they do not know the difference between good and bad,
