LADIES-IN-WAITING
Fergus Appleton would n’t have minded being called a fool if only he could have contrived to deserve the title, and the glimmer of the crown celestial had been in his imagination more than once until he turned thirty and decided it was not for his head. Guileless school-girls did not appeal to him, and elderly sirens certainly had no power to charm; he was even widow-proof, so he became a thoroughfare for sisterly affection. Girls suffocated him with friendliness, which was not the stuff of which his dreams were made.
However, he had nothing to complain of, for he got as good as he gave, and it occurred to him that he could not expect to start a disastrous conflagration in any maiden bosom so long as he had no brimstone, nor any substitute for it, on his own premises.
“Anyway,” he reflected (though perhaps not oftener than once a year), “if I have n’t a tie in the world, I have complete freedom to do as I like!” And if the said freedom palled upon him occasionally, no-
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