Page:Wives of the prime ministers, 1844-1906.djvu/169

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MRS. DISRAELI

on earth like separated love." His idea of love is the perpetual enjoyment of the loved one's society, and the sharing with her every thought and fancy and care; so long as they are together it does not matter where, "in heaven or on earth, or in the waters under the earth"; and although he declares he is not jealous, he confesses he envies the gentlemen about her—"When the eagle leaves you the vultures return." His affection grows in intensity, and he is sure that "health, his clear brain, and her love will enable him to conquer the world." At one period in the courtship, which seems to have lasted practically from the summer of 1838 to the autumn of 1839, there was a serious quarrel, and Mrs. Lewis desired him to quit her house for ever. Later, she seems to have reproached him with interested views, and he enters into a long explanation how, at the first, he had not been influenced by romantic feelings, that he wished for the solace of a home, and was not blind to the worldly advantage of an alliance with her, but all the same, if his heart had not been engaged he would not have proceeded in the matter. She forgave him, said it was all a mistake, that she had never desired him to quit the house or thought a word about money.

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