"I've done now," said Sam with slight embarrassment; "I've been a writin'."
"So I see," replied Mr. Weller. "Not to any young 'ooman, I hope, Sammy?"
"Why it's no use a sayin' it ain't," replied Sam, "It's a walentine."
"A what!" exclaimed Mr. Weller, apparently horror-stricken by the word.
"A walentine," replied Sam.
"Samivel, Samivel," said Mr. Weller, in reproachful accents, "I didn't think you'd ha' done it. Arter the warnin' you've had o' your father's wicious propensities; arter all I've said to you upon this here wery subject; arter actiwally seein' and bein' in the company o' your own mother-in-law, vich I should ha' thought wos a moral lesson as no man could never ha' forgotten to his dyin' day! I didn't think you'd ha' done it, Sammy, I didn't think you'd ha' done it!" These reflections were too much for the good old man. He raised Sam's tumbler to his lips and drank off its contents.
"Wot's the matter now?" said Sam.
"Nev'r mind, Sammy," replied Mr. Weller, "it'll be a wery agonizin' trial to me at my time of life, but I'm pretty tough, that's vun consolation, as the wery old turkey remarked wen the farmer said he wos afeerd he should be obliged to kill him for the London market."
"Wot'll be a trial?" inquired Sam.
"To see you married, Sammy—to see you a dilluded wictim, and thinkin' in your innocence that it's all wery capital," replied Mr. Weller. "It's a dreadful trial to a father's feelin's, that 'ere, Sammy."
"Nonsense," said Sam. "I ain't a goin' to get married, don't you fret yourself about that; I know you're a judge of these things. Order in your pipe, and I'll read you the letter. There!"
We cannot distinctly say whether it was the prospect of the pipe, or the consolatory reflection that a fatal disposition