282 BERDYCZEWSKI
my time will some day expire, and I shall once more be free.
I have tried from the very beginning not to play any tricks, to do my duty and obey orders, so that they should not say, "A Jew won't work a Jew is too lazy."
Even though I am let off manual labor, because I am on "privileged rights," still, if they tell me to go and clean the windows, or polish the flooring with sand, or clear away the snow from the door, I make no fuss and go. I wash and clean and polish, and try to do the work well, so that they should find no fault with me.
They haven't yet ordered me to carry pails of water.
Why should I not confess it? The idea of having to do that rather frightens me. When I look at the vessel in which the water is carried, my heart begins to flutter: the vessel is almost as big as I am, and I couldn't lift it even if it were empty.
I often think : What shall I do, if to-morrow, or the day after, they wake me at three o'clock in the morn- ing and say coolly :
"Get up, Blumin, and go with Ossadtchok to fetch a pail of water !"
You ought to see my neighbor Ossadtchok ! He looks as if he could squash me with one finger. It is as easy for him to carry a pail of water as to drink a glass of brandy. How can I compare myself with him?
I don't care if it makes my shoulder swell, if I could only carry the thing. I shouldn't mind about that. But God in Heaven knows the truth, that I won't be able to lift the pail off the ground, only they won't be- lieve me, they will say:
