Page:Zangwill-King of schnorrers.djvu/96

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82
MATED BY A WAITER
82

82 THE KING OF SCHNORRERS.

barred them all, and at last had an inspiration of his own.

" Isn't there a Rabbi in your community whose stinginess is proverbial? Let me see, what's his name? "

"A Rabbi!" murmured Yankele disingenuously, while his heart began to palpitate with alarm.

" Yes, isn't there — Rabbi Bloater ! "

Yankele" shook his head. Ruin stared him in the face — his fondest hopes were crumbling.

"I know its some fishy name — Rabbi Haddock — no it isn't. It's Rabbi Remorse something."

Yankele saw it was all over with him.

" P'raps you mean Rabbi Remorse Red-herring," he said feebly, for his voice failed him.

" Ah, yes ! Rabbi Remorse Red-herring," said Manasseh. " From all I hear — for I have never seen the man — a king of guzzlers and topers, and the meanest of mankind. Now if you could dine with him you might indeed be called a king of Schnorrers."

Yankele was pale and trembling. " But he is married ! " he urged, with a happy thought.

" Dine with him to-morrow," said Manasseh inexorably. " He fares extra royally on the Sabbath. Obtain admission to his table, and you shall be admitted into my family."

"But you do not know the man — it is impossible!" cried Yankele.

" That is the excuse of the bad Schnorrer. You have heard my ultimatum. No dinner, no wife. No wife — no dowry ! "

"Vat vould dis dowry be?' asked Yankele, by way of diversion.

" Oh, unique — quite unique. First of all there would be all the money she gets from the Synagogue. Our Synagogue