Pebbles and Shells (Hawkes collection)/Confessions of a Street Gamin

by Clarence Hawkes

CONFESSIONS OF A STREET GAMIN

Well governor you do look slick,
But yer can't give me guff;
I guess you think I be a fool,
Or not quite up to snuff?

Yer really want ter know, yer say,
What we street duffers do?
Gosh! if yer ain't the queerest cud
I ever had to chew.

Yer want ter put it in a book
That yer a-goin' to sell?
Well governor, yer welcome to't,
But there ain't much ter tell.

Me dad he was a gintleman,
A-keepin' of a bar,
Before he got ter swillin' so,—
I never hed no ma.

But one dark night he got so bad
I had to take a sneak,
An' while he was a chasin' me
He fell inter the creek.

I s'pose you'll think 'twas mighty queer
I blubbered an' felt bad,
Yer see I had ter love him some—
Yer know he was me dad.

But by-and-by I got a pal,—
Why, don't yer know, a pard?—
When I was down upon me luck
An' things went mighty hard,

He helped me if he had the swag,
He alluz was a brick;
But pretty soon there came a time
That made me mighty sick.

'One day we two wuz tossin' cops
Upon a pavin' stun,
When up the street there came a cab,
The hosses on the run.

And right in front uv that durned team,
A runnin' fit ter drop,
Was jest the purtiest little gal,
It made me knocker stop.

But Jim he jumped as quick as whiz
An' snatched the little girl,
An' then the cab went thund'rin' by,
An' all was in a whirl.

But when I got me senses back—
For somethin' hit me head—
An' looked around for Jim, me pal,
He was a lyin' dead.

I laid right down upon the stones
An' bellowed side er Jim;
He was the only pal I had
An' I'd er died for him.

Then all the swell folks in the cab
Got out an' stood around,
They all took off their hats to Jim
A lyin' on the ground.

There was a lady in the crowd
Dressed up alfired grand,
With silk an' lace upon her togs
An' rings upon her hand.

She went right up ter my poor pard,
An' then knelt down by him,
An' held his head upon her arm;
That's jest like some them wim.

She looked so mighty beaut' an' good,
A strokin' cully's head,
Her eyes they were so sorrowful,
I wished 'twas me that's dead.

I know I'd been a better chap
If I had had a ma,
Or some one good ter talk ter me,
An' look at me like her.

She said it warn't so bad ter die
If we but loved the Farder
He's got a swell place in the sky,
An' He can make us gladder;

She said some day that I might go
And live with that big swell,
But all them preacher duffers say
They know we'll go ter hell.

Well, them air snobs, they did the square
By me an' my poor pal,
They dressed him up in dandy togs
An' made a funeral.

They got a real howler too,
What said that God is love,
An' that he cared as much for Jim
As any other cove.

An' there was posies all round Jim,
He had a bran new suit,
The first un that he ever had,
An' everything was beaut.

An' when the preacher told 'bout Jim,
How 'twas he got the swipe,
I saw most all them dandy swells
A-feelin' for a wipe.

I couldn't blink a wink that night
After I douced the glim,
All I could do was kick about,
An' blubber 'n' think o' Jim,

An' loosin' cully seemed to bust
The luck I'd had a spell,
I couldn't get a trot to do
An' papes they wouldn't sell.

An' then I lost the snuggery
That we hed hed together,
An' so I hed ter bunk out doors
In mighty nippin' weather.

An' when I couldn't find a snug,
I jest walked up an' down;
The glims they looked so warm an' bright
In houses up in town,

It made me sick to look at um,
An' then I'd go away,
An' walk, an' walk, an' walk, an' walk,
Until it got to day.

Sometimes I'd think uv things I'd heard,
But they wuz mighty dim,
About the gov'ner in the sky
And how folks prayed to him,

An' then I'd ask him for some grub
An' togs ter keep me warm,
An' jest some place ter lay me head
Inside out of the storm;

I didn't ax him for a bed,
But jest some straws, you see,
An' then I'd hark an' try ter hear
If he would answer me.

But all I'd hear was rumblin' wheels,
An' jinglin' horse car bells,
He never cares for such as me,
He goes in for them swells.

About that time I jined the gang,
An' then we bust the bank;
They was a mighty wicked crowd
That cussed an' fit an' drank.

I didn't know how bad they was
Until we made the deal,
An' then they'd carved me quick as wink
Ef I'd a dared ter squeal.

Then next we tried a big stone front
Where there was lots of tin;
Big Devil Dick, he bust a light
An' then he put me in.

I was a-creepin' ter the door,
Ter let the fellers in,
When all at once there was a flash
An' then an awful din.

But when I got me senses back
After the shootin' fuss,
I was down in the hospital,
With such a jolly nuss.

Them was about the bulliest days
That ever I hev hed,
With such good things to stuff an' swill
An' such a dozy bed.

You see the gang had all been tuck
But Dick, an' he lay low,
An' I was sech a little duck
The jedge, he let me go.

An' when I left the hospital,
'Twas mighty hard ter leave,
I was a-lookin limp an' white
An' hed one empty sleeve.

But now the luck all comes my way—
I've got another pard—
For folks is mighty good ter me
An' times they aint so hard.

An' now sometimes I gets a tip,
A nickel or a dime,
An' sometimes when the biz is dull
I get a little time.

Why don't you know? I am a trot
Down at the new hotel,
It is a mighty shiny place,
An' ev'rything is swell.

You've really been a-chalkin' it?
Well, if yer ain't a cad;
I hope yer've put it rather light,
Then I won't seem so bad.

Day, reditor, I'm much obliged
For such a heap of tin;
But that's the sarvants' gong yer hear
An' I must go ter din.