Pieces People Ask For/The Saddest Sight

by S. Gladys Bond

THE SADDEST SIGHT.

When a woman her home would decorate,
She stops not at obstacles small or great;
But the funniest sight her trials afford
Is when madam essays to saw a board.

With her knee on a plank, and the plank on a chair,
She poises her saw with a knowing air,
Makes several wild rasps at the pencilled line,
And is off with a whizz the reverse of fine.

With lips compressed she gets down to work,
And crosses the timber jerkity-jerk;
She can't keep to the line, her knee slips askew;
But she keeps to the work till the board splits in two.

She has damaged the chair, she has ruined the saw,
Her back is aching, her hands are raw,
And she finds, when she tries to fit her prize,
It's an inch too short of the requisite size.