Poems (Craik)/Looking East

by Dinah Maria Craik

LOOKING EAST.

In January, 1858,

ITTLE white clouds, why are you flying  Over the sky so blue and cold? Fair faint hopes, why are you lying  Over my heart like a white cloud's fold?

Slender green leaves, why are you peeping  Out of the ground where the show yet lies?Toying west wind, why are you creeping  Like a child's breath across my eyes?

Hope and terror by turns consuming,  Lover and friend put far from me,—What should I do with the bright spring, coming  Like an angel over the sea?

Over the cruel sea that parted  Me from mine own, and rolls between;—Out of the woful east, whence darted  Heaven's full quiver of vengeance keen.

Day teaches day, night whispers morning— "Hundreds are weeping their dead, while thou Weeping thy living—Rise, be adorning  Thy brows, unwidowed, with smiles."—But how?

O, had he married me!—unto anguish,  Hardship, sickness, peril, and pain; That on my breast his head might languish  In lonely jungle or scorching plain;

O, had we stood on some rampart gory,  Till he—ere Horror behind us trod—Kissed me, and killed me—so, with his glory  My soul went happy and pure to God!

Nay, nay, Heaven pardon me! me, sick-hearted,  Living this long, long life-in-death: Many there are far wider parted  Who under one roof-tree breathe one breath.

But we that loved—whom one word half broken  Had drawn together close soul to soul As lip to lip—and it was not spoken,  Nor may be while the world's ages roll.

I sit me down with my tears all frozen:  I drink my cup, be it gall or wine: For I know, if he lives, I am his chosen— I know, if he dies, that he is mine.

If love in its silence be greater, stronger  Than million promises, sighs, or tears—I will wait upon Him a little longer  Who holdeth the balance of our years.

Little white clouds, like angels flying,  Bring the spring with you across the sea—Loving or losing, living or dying,  Lord, remember, remember me!