Poems (Freston)/A Magdalen's Prayer

by Elizabeth Heléne Freston

A MAGDALEN'S PRAYER

I am so tired to-night, dear God! so tired!
Hope's star seems lost in sky of darkest night!
My soul goes up to Thee in one great cry,
Help me, O Lord, to find somewhere the light!

My life is empty, lonely, profitless,
Made up of such poor, tarnished, worthless things,
I try to rise, but what storm-beaten bird
Has ever soared to heights on broken wings?

I thought fulfilled ambition, fame, the goal
Of earthly strivings, all my strivings prove
All gifts are to a woman's heart and soul
As Sodomy's apples, if she has not love.

I want some shelter from the storms of life,
The beauteous garment of an honest name!
The tender glances of protecting eyes,
That 'waken love, and not regret and shame.

And most of all the touch of baby hands,
To pluck the thorns of sin and pain away,—
To fill my life with faith and hope and prayer,
And keep this shadow,—dark despair, at bay.

Oh, crown me with this fairest woman's crown!
And fill the empty chambers of my life
With pattering baby feet, and let renown
Pass by me, and this futile, wearying strife!

With black and crimson sins my soul is stained,
Oh, let Thy healing waters wash me pure!
The cup of pleasure to the dregs I've drained,
And they are deadly, but Thy love can cure!

Stretch out Thy hand and lead me to the light!
I am too blind to find the way alone!
I should stand fully shriven in Thy sight,
If suffering can for my sins atone!

If my poor prayers You heed not, nor reply,—
If all is darkness, as it seems to be,—
Dear angel Death from out that darkness fly,
And fold thy wings about my prayers and me!