Poems (Freston)/Uncle Sam's Revery

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4498346Poems — Uncle Sam's ReveryElizabeth Heléne Freston
UNCLE SAM'S REVERY
OCT., 1900

I used to reckon, long ago,
I was a decent sort o' chap,
I looked the hull world in the face,
And durn it! didn't give a rap
Fur emprors, sultans and such truck,
I held ma own head purty high,
But now, b' gosh! I'm in hard luck!
And I guess I ain't so mighty fly!

For now with all this 'lection noise,
And throwin' dirt, and sneerin' down,
I hardly know where I am at,
Such things are said of me in town!
Why, TEDDY,—my own TEDDY!—swears
That as a Democrat, I'm wus
Than any Dago dodger's mule,
And always tryin' to raise a fuss
With Philipinoes,—like a fool.

He says I am an "Anarchist!"
And gosh! that makes me want to swear!
Why, if some foreign chap said half
That TEDDY says I'd pull his hair!
And that boy BRYAN, too, has hurt
My feelin's in their tendrest spot!
He says that as Republican,
I surely am a common lot!

I fear ma shadow in the sun,—
I'm such a coward,—and I plant
Ma hoof upon the poor man's neck,
And squirm from under that he can't!
Besides I'm "Plutocrat," he says,
And every gosh-darn thing that's base!
Why, if I was as mean as that,
I wouldn't look men in the face!

I'm gettin' mad! I won't be sassed!
Even by two of my best boys!
I raised them! praised them! helped them up!
Joined in their sorrows and their joys!
TEDDY was always a good boy!
Though fond of gab he had his charm,
But though he ran up San Juan Hill
He ain't agoin' to run my farm!

Nor BRYAN nuther! I've been good
To that air boy, and proud of him!
But if he sasses me like that,
I'll lay the rod on with vim!
And I'll just make him understand
That GOLD is none too good for me!
SILVER may suit some other land,—
For this!—the best its got to be!

They talk as if we're bound to come
To sure destruction with a smash!
I guess they think I'm not to hum,
Nor near enough to hear the crash!
And after all is said and done,
I kinder think we needn't fear
That them Imperial bugs will come
And spoil our crops, while I am here.