Poems (Howard)/A Difference of Opinion
A Difference of Opinion.
Before the pile of blazing logs A burgher in his kitchen sat, His feet upon the fire-dogs, His form encased in flaccid fat; And sipped his toddy from the mug Whose foaming element was drawn From that familiar, earthen jug That topers live and thrive upon.
A typic product of the land Whose scions hold forever dear The native, true, Teutonic brand Of sparkling ale and lager beer; A jolly soul, like "Old King Cole," Of visage rubicund was he, Who loved his meerschaum and his bowl And boon companions' revelry.
The patient spouse who meekly shared His home and toil, but not his glee, The matutinal meal prepared With quiet, quaint dexterity; But, while the smoking viands rolled Their odor out, a smothered sigh From her lymphatic partner told That Death, unbidden guest, was nigh.
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So, quickly sped the mystery; While proximate inhabitants, Who preconceived how it would be, Met each to each with knowing glance; And filled again the master's cup And sympathy and sorrow told; And, while they drank its contents up, His relict tenderly consoled.
The coroner and all his clique Sat on the body, just as if They meant to make the dead man speak And tell how he became so stiff; As happens oft when one is drowned The jurymen clear up the doubt By sitting on the body found— As if to squeeze the water out.
And thus they gave the cause of death; The savants as with one accord Agreed "'twas either want of breath, Or visitation from the Lord!"The neighbors whispered "Too much beer!" But we, more liberal inclined, Suggest with honesty sincere, "It might have been all three combined?"