Poems (Jackson)/Not as I will
"NOT AS I WILL."
LINDFOLDED and alone I standWith unknown thresholds on each hand;The darkness deepens as I grope,Afraid to fear, afraid to hope:Yet this one thing I learn to knowEach day more surely as I go,That doors are opened, ways are made,Burdens are lifted or are laid,By some great law unseen and still,Unfathomed purpose to fulfil, "Not as I will."Blindfolded and alone I wait;Loss seems too bitter, gain too late;Too heavy burdens in the loadAnd too few helpers on the road;And joy is weak and grief is strong,And years and days so long, so long:Yet this one thing I learn to knowEach day more surely as I go,That I am glad the good and illBy changeless law are ordered still, "Not as I will."
"Not as I will ": the sound grows sweetEach time my lips the words repeat."Not as I will": the darkness feelsMore safe than light when this thought stealsLike whispered voice to calm and blessAll unrest and all loneliness."Not as I will," because the OneWho loved us first and best has goneBefore us on the road, and stillFor us must all his love fulfil, "Not as we will."