Poems (Shipton)/My Infirmity

by Anna Shipton

"MY INFIRMITY."

"He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?"—Rom. viii. 32.
"Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath He in anger shut up His tender mercies? And I said, This is my infirmity."—Psalm lxxvii. 9, 10.

I wept by the misty headland,
   Down by the sea;
And none in that hour of anguish
   Stood there by me.
"Within and without was midnight;
   Where once had been
The smile of the Lord who loved me,
   No Lord was seen.

I said, "On this earth's wide bosom
   I walk alone;
God hideth His face, I'm forsaken;
   All hope is gone.
I watch for His hand in the shadows
   That shroud my feet;
I listen, and nothing I hear, save
   My heart's wild beat.

"Cold, drear, is my soul, and loveless,
   Hopeless and dead;
For God has departed for ever,"
   Sadly I said.
"I shall never more bask in His presence,
   Never proclaim,
With a song and the voice of thanksgiving.
   Jesus' sweet Name.

"Yet how can I marvel He leaves me,
   Faithless and vain,
To walk in the light of His favor
   Never again!
My heart hath forsaken His mercies,
   And mercy is past,
And my Lord, whom my sins have long wearied,
   Leaves me at last."

Then, swift as the flash of the lightning
   Passing the sky,
Came a voice, like a dove's in the woodland,
   So tenderly:
"When father and mother forsake thee,
   Look thou above;
The Father Eternal remembers
   The child of His love.

"The shadows have gathered around thee,
   Born of the light;
Had the sun never risen to warm thee,
   Where were thy night?
Remember the springs in the desert,
   Arid and drear;
For thee hath the wilderness blossomed,
   Why dost thou fear?"

There are treasures beneath the dark waters;
   Seek thou, and learn;
Hidden riches in secret places
   Thou must discern.
And think not He changes or chides thee;
   Comforts decline;
But Christ made the covenant blessings
   Eternally thine.

"He gave thee His promise to keep thee;
   Can He deceive?
He granted His Word and His Spirit;
   Only believe.
He sought thee, cast out and forsaken,
   Bidding thee 'Live.'
He gave thee the Son of His bosom;
   More can He give?"

Then swift on the purple headland,
   Down by the sea,
The light that seemed vanished for ever
   Came back to me;
And I looked on the Man Christ Jesus
   On God's high throne.
Forgive me, my Father; I measured
   Thy love by my own.