Poems of Anne Countess of Winchilsea 1903/The Goute and Spider

by Anne Countess of Winchilsea

THE GOUTE AND SPIDER

A Fable

Imitated from Mon^sr. de la Fontaine And Inscribed to Mr. Finch
After his first Fitt of that Distemper

When from th' Infernal pitt two Furies rose One foe to Flies and one to Mans repose Seeking aboue to find a place secure Since Hell the Goute nor Spider cou'd indure On a rich Pallace at the first they light Where pleas'd Arachne dazzl'd with the sight In a conspiccuous corner of a Room The hanging Frett work makes her active Loom. From leaf to leaf with every line does trace, Admires the strange convenience of the place 10Nor can belieue those Cealings e're were made To other end than to promote her Trade Where prou'd and prosper'd in her finish'd work The hungry Fiend does in close Ambush lurk Untill some silly Insect shall repay What from her Bowells she has spun that day. The wiser Gout (for that's a thinking ill) Observing how the splended chambers fill With visitors such as abound below Who from Hypocrites and Gallen grow 20 To some unwealthy shed resolues to flyAnd there obscure and unmolested lyeBut see how eithers project quickly failsThe Clown his new tormentor with him traylesThrough miry ways rough Woods and furrow'd LandsNe're cutts the Shooe nor propp'd on Crutches standsWith Phœbus rising stays with Cynthia outAllows no respitt to the harrass'd Gout. Whilst with extended Broom th' unpittying MaidDoes the transparent Laberynth invade 30Back stroke and fore the battering Engin wentBroke euery Cord and quite unhing'd the TentNo truce the tall Virago e're admittsContracted and abash'd Arachne' sittsThen in conuenient Time the Work renewsThe battering Ram again the work persues.What's to be done? The Gout and Spider meet,Exchange, the Cottage this; That takes the feetOf the rich Abbott who that Pallace keptAnd 'till that time in Velvet Curtains slept 40Now Colwort leaues and Cataplasms (thô vain)Are hourly order'd by that griping traine.Who blush not to Prescribe t'exhaust our GoldFor aches which incurable they holdWhil'st stroak'd and fixt the pamper'd Gout remainsAnd in an easy Chair euer the Preist detains. In a thatched Roof secure the Spider thrives,Both mending by due place their hated liues.From whose succeeding may this moral growThat each his propper Station learn to know. 50

 For You my Dear whom late that pain did seize,Not rich enough to sooth the bad diseaseBy large expences to engage his stay Nor yett so poor to fright the Gout awayMay you but some unfrequent Visits findTo prove you patient, your Ardelia kindWho by a tender and officious careWill ease that Grief or her proportion bearSince Heaven does in the Nuptial state admittSuch cares but new endearments to begett 60And to allay the hard fatigues of lifeGaue the first Maid a Husband, Him a Wife.